Friday, December 5, 2008

A time of Mourning.

I don't know how else to start this except by saying... I love you. I'm sorry. You are amazing and I pray for you everyday.

My older brothers best friend's name is Brad. Brad has been around since I was in 5th grade. They played sports together, he was at our house continually through high school and even when my brother would visit while he was in college. Brad is an amazing and cool person. Brad and I were able to develop a close brotherly friendship throughout all of these years. 

He married a beautiful girl named Valerie about a year and a half ago. They were the perfect match and Brad seemed happier than he had ever been. Soon after their marriage they moved to Japan to teach English to kids. They were loving it. I followed their blog on a regular basis. Brad is like another brother to me and I loved hearing all about their life on the other side of the world.

4 months ago Brad called my brother and says that they are back in the states- earlier than expected. Valerie had been diagnosed with Melanoma stage 4. They came back to the states so she could be treated. Soon after they found out she had tumors all in her spine, and in her shoulder- one that literally broke her bone. They removed them. She went through Chemo. I followed her Caringbridge blog along with Ryan, my parents, and brother. I prayed for them everyday. It seemed she was doing better. Then one day- she woke up struggling with normal speech and was going to see the doctor. Brain cancer. Brain cancer that had spread to her lymph nodes. They attempted surgery. It was irreversible. 

Valerie and Brad are travelers. They go on road trips, traveled to Japan to teach. The doctors made it clear treatment could only possibly extend her life- not cure her. She would continue to get worse, living in a hospital. Valerie's desire was to be taken off treatment, rent an RV and drive up the northwest coast of the USA. That is how she wished to spend her last days. Brad, Valerie's parents, and Valerie went out west a few weeks ago and made the trip. They were in So.Cal. when she passed.

Valerie was 24- the same age as Ryan and I. It breaks my heart. The odd thing is- I have never met Valerie. I followed their blog and was astonished at her attitude and spirit. She inspired me- without ever meeting her. It makes me question... makes me want to ask God, "Why?". They were Godly and loving people. I wonder what, for lack of a better term, causes some people to stumble upon this path and others to not. Some people stumble into this situation and walk through the struggles and come out a better person. Others don't make it through. I'm struggling with these questions and the answer I know I will never find.

My brother just got back from going to VA for the Funeral. He said it was difficult. He was the only one of Brad's friends that made the trip. They shared tears, and laughter about past memories. Josh was in their wedding. They reminisced. Josh and Brad will be doing a road trip throughout Christmas to spend some time together. Brad said he really needed something like that. My brother and I talked and his emotion was almost impossible to take. My heart hurts.

I have cried... and cried. I love Brad. I have cried FOR Brad. He is hurting... deeply. But is taking it day by day. God bless him. I hope he knows that he is in my prayers everyday. He is loved.

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